Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Are Canadians Lying About Their Healthcare System To Trick Us Into Being Their Friends?

Lets face facts here, Canadians are lonely lonely people. I mean if I had to live in a frozen barren wasteland for six months out of the year i would be a sad puppy and probably would cut my life short at the first opportunity. Many Canadians are not,unfortunately, suicidal and I have devised the reason for this. They survive by convincing people their sad lonely lives are really awesome. They do this with a massive conspiracy that involves everyone in the entire nation of Canada. They brag about their "health-care system" and their "peace" and their "prosperity" but we are quickly learning the truth.

If something is different than here in America, then it must suck by comparison. Just look at me. I live here and I'm satisfied with my life enough to spend an hour of my free time trying to disparage the well organize well designed institutions of my nation's closet ally.

Well even if there is a large amount of evidence claiming that Canadians are happy with their government and their communist health-care system, I want people to give me credit for providing a logical paradigm for explaining away any evidence that refutes the "deathers" claims about socialism's plots to kill people for no rational reason. Just for good measure lets have a look at the facts I considered reasonably accurate in the conservative American paradigm.

-Canadians have to request permission to have children up to ten years in advance. In many cases, requests are made by children hoping they will receive a licence before they retire decades later.
-Canadians often sneak into America and get health-care here. Then they return home and tell their friends they got excellent service from the Canadian system. Socialize education has trained them to do this without even realizing it.
-Canadians regularly launch their elderly off into ice floats in order to avoid end of life costs. Even though they have more advanced form of euthanasia they kill people this way because they are dicks who like too see people suffer.
-Canadians hate America. They are filled with livid jealousy toward our awesomeness and the knowledge that if it wasn't for the US they would be speaking Russian instead of . . . umm whatever language they speak now.
-No Canadians are funny and when they visit America they are so overwhelmed with your freedom the immigrate here at a rate of negative 850 persons a year.
-And finally Canada has never done anything important to world history EVER! they didn't have troops at Normandy, they didn't have any impact on the war of 1812 and they certainly don't beat our economy in any exercise, like lumber production for example.

Just deal with it Canada, you suck and we rock.


  1. Wow, I had no Idea how evil Canadians really were. Thanks for the truth Ira!

  2. YOUR WELCOME!~ i think the more we insult canda the better our country can become.